Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
