I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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