There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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