Someone shit on the floor
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
