Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
