I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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