I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
