I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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