sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Randomize
