Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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