I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
