its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
