Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
40s are totally the cure
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
