tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Who died my cat blue again?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
