I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
