Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he shaved USA in his pubs
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
