You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
There r osticjed everywhere
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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