So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
