I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
