All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
