you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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