I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
