absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Randomize
