once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize