I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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