Have you finally orgasmed yet?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
