and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
