Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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