If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
