Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
