you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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