i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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