he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
