Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
