i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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