I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize