put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize