I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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