Define "chronic" masturbator.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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