she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
