I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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