Can Purell be used as lube?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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