do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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