doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
