My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
