I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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