That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
