there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All the doctor said was why
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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