And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
