Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
