I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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