There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
