she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
