Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
