Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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