ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize