HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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