fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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