just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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