He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
