K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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