Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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