I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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