what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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