he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
